It’s easy to become overwhelmed when your child’s condition is constantly changing and it seems that each day brings more medical terminology to Google. The things we search for as caregivers are quite interesting at times. Sometimes all the searching, though, just leaves us with even more questions than answers. We put so much weight in the knowledge of our medical team and yet there are times our children leave even them scratching their heads.
Our calendars are filled with color-coded schedules only to have one simple phone call from a provider throw the whole next three months into a tailspin, and you find yourself scrambling to make all the pieces fit again.
When we see that we’ve landed in the place of unknowns, it is critical that we cling to who is known. “I want to know Christ – yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,” (Philippians 3:10). He is unchanging. He is with us. He knows every tear you shed. He knows your weakness. He knows your fears. He is full of grace and mercy.
I look down at my daughter’s complex and failing body and the list is endless of all the unknowns. Waiting on test results, procedures and reports just adds to the anxiety. It would be so easy to be overcome by the weight of it all. As I tuck her in at night and my salty tears fall on her freshly washed hair, I know not to take a moment for granted. I’m reminded that although her body has most of her medical team currently stumped, Psalm 139:13-14 is still true.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
I can rest knowing that He knows exactly what is going on with my daughter. He has a unique and beautiful purpose for her life. Even if that means it’s far different from what I envisioned for her. I don’t have to fear being drowned by the crashing waves of this sea, because He promises to take good care of us. I only need to reach out and cling to Him. He is enough for this moment and all the tomorrows to come.
Lord, help me to know you. Help me to believe that you are with me and trust that you will never leave me. I surrender my hopes and dreams to you, even when I don’t understand. Lord, be my strength and my strong tower as I aim to keep my eyes fixed on you. I know that you will be with me no matter how long the storm lasts. Thank you for holding onto me.
Shelly Roberts is a dedicated wife and mom to 8 kids from around the globe (3 grown & 5 at home). With God in control, Shelly’s family has experienced twists and turns that have made for an inspiring story. Serving in foster care brought the new dimension of disabilities to her family, transforming their hearts to welcome these children as daughter and son and advocate for vulnerable children. Shelly understands the unique dynamics of a family that has complex-needs kids and desires to encourage and lead other families to the One who is bigger than our circumstances. Whether camping out in a hospital room or at home enjoying time with a grandbaby, she’s learned to find joy in the moment and to trust His grace for each season.